A Whale of a Tale

I was hanging out on a whale once. With 3 codfish, 6 shrimp, 2 starfish and 26 sea anemones. I don't think any of us could really be blamed for what happened. See, we had squeezed the toxins out of 162 jelly fish, and had been shooting it straight up like heroin. You should have seen the starfish! One of them grabbed the smallest of the sea anemones, and stuck it on its top spike. The poor anemone died on the spot, but the starfish didn't care by then. He was dancing around, all tipsy, trying to seduce a couple of the other anemones. With their sister impaled on his spike, they were quite cold to him, pushed him around and whatnot. Eventually, he was dancing by himself on the whale's tail and just sort of passed out after a while. The other starfish wasn't quite as looped, so he dragged the limp body of his bro off to the whale tank's filter, and got everything sorted out.
Anyway, the shrimp thought it'd be pretty funny if they all snuck inside the asshole of the biggest codfish. She was none too impressed, and shat them out after eating the smallest codfish. The poor shrimp all suffocated on the spot. The big mama codfish choked on the bones of the smallest codfish and died. The remaining codfish didn't like the vibes at the party so he waved and swam off, jumped out of the whale tank, and landed in the janitor's bucket. He finally had himself a good supper, the poor old fella.
So, all that were left now were me, 25 of the sea anemones and the whale. We started chatting, and one of the anemones pointed to the blow hole and, as I mentioned earlier, I couldn't resist such an opportunity. Five of the anemones volunteered to line the blow hole when they saw the expression on my face upon first rubbing the rim of the hole. It was chapped - rough, cracked and dry (from the salt water, I assume). I thanked them for their kindness and stuffed them in. The rest of the anemones pretended to be candles and set themselves up in a circle around me. I think because of their reaction to the jellyfish toxin, they were projecting this wicked phosphorescence, which really set the mood.
I pulled myself out and set to work on the blow hole (the anemones in there were very accommodating with their filigreed and soft tentacles). Apparently, the whale had been asleep. And, apparently, thrusting into its blow hole is a sure way to wake it up, though not a good way. It gets kind of panicky. It started swimming pretty fast - this only got me more heated up and excited, so it didn't really work in the whale's favour. Until it dived under the surface. I wasn't ready for that, and pulled in a couple lungsful of salt water. Unfortunately, the whale's next plan was to jump. It came out of the water, me still on its back, and twisted in the air. I was thrown off its back, the stuffing anemones clinging to my cock and a couple of the candle ones were holding on to my chest hair. They were screaming, I was screaming, the whale was screaming - it was a pretty loud scene.
The security crew arrived just in time to see me land in the nearby cactus display. Yeah. That wasn't fun at all. A couple of the anemones were kind enough to help me pull out some of the quills which were just out of my reach. After we got all the quills out of my back and ass, I was escorted out of Sea World by the security crew. They didn't even let me take the anemones which were still holding on tightly to my nether regions with me. They, quite cruelly, pulled them off. The anemones didn't want to go, so it definitely hurt to have them removed. So did peeing for the next week or so.
Worst of all, Sea World blamed everything on me! I told them it was the starfish's idea to get trashed on the jellyfish toxin, but they would have none of that. The starfish had actually snuck off by this time, so my story looked pretty baseless.
Anyway, as punishment, they took away my marine biology degree, and I've been banned from all water, including puddles and showers. I've had to take up bathing in milk, which is all right sometimes, but the cows I choose (a different one each day!) don't always enjoy me cleaning myself under them. I've been stepped on a few times, but I think my skills are improving - they don't seem to mind my hands as much anymore. I'm gettin' by, I suppose.